When you just can’t even. . .

Don’t mind me and my sob story. It’s just one of those days, right? I won’t sugarcoat it for you. So, here I sit playing with these magnets my sweet friend intended for our crazy girl. I guess they give me more comfort than her, for now. I’m siping my third cup of heated-up coffee. Nerflix strikes again, I’m hanging onto every cliffhanger of this new show I dove into today and already on the tenth episode; sorry not sorry. My kids? Well, don’t worry it’s the kind of day where Sam and I take turns monitoring, disciplining, and try to not lose every ounce of patience. A teething baby and an overly-hyper active three year old does us both in. We’re out of diapers for the little, so I sent out the big and her dad to fetch some so I could secretly regain my sanity. Never mind, the fussiness of a little boy that just needs to be held by: yours truly. Typing one handed is a talent, I don’t possess. So, I’ll make this sweet and to the point. Although, there’s nothing sweet about losing your ever-loving-mind and having to muster all the “cans” for the “I can’ts”, there’s nothing more maddening. Today, was a minute by minute day. Depressed, not about the circumstances, though. Anxious, not about anything in particular. It’s just a combination of something you cannot explain.

While I can’t explain it; I just wanted you to know I was here. I’m here with you in case, you too just “can’t”. I wanted you to know that these days are okay, these days are normal. This feeling won’t last forever and as cliche as it may sound: tomorrow is a new day. But tomorrow isn’t just a new day to start all over again, it’s a day to pick up the brokenness and forge ahead to greener pastures. The sun may not come tomorrow but there’s something greater inside of you to stand for. It’s the quiet but unruly strength telling you: “you’re not your depressed days, you can make it another day, your fear won’t own you it’s just trying to trap you. But darling, you’re free. You’re free. Say that. You’ll always be free because grateness lives inside of you. The grateness in you was put there by the Great. He allowed you today and by His grace and mercy He’ll allow you tomorrow. So, live in darkness just one more minute because there’s still beauty there. There’s strength in taking life by each minute. Every minute you make it is another victory, it’s another testament of God’s work within you.

 

You can, I promise.

Don’t forget, I’m here. I’m just hanging on by a thread here but just for another minute.

3 thoughts on “When you just can’t even. . .

  1. As always you write so well, so to the core of all that possesses you as you live for one more minute. As always SENDING MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY PRAYERS…. Praying for Jesus to give you peace, patient, strength, and to know you are LOVED and we’re here for you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

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