I’m still sitting here on my third cup of “heated up” coffee letting the morning clearly, slip away. I’m avoiding all the realities today as I mourn the loss of SEVEN Sanfilippo kiddos we lost this week. Seven in one week, it’s unbearable. This disease has never been more real to me. I learned something today; as I was sobbing watching the funeral online of one of the sweet girls who’s life was cut way too short.
Strength is rare.
Since Sawyer was born we’ve always referred to her as a rare diamond. Her smile sparkles and her personality is radiant, capturing everyone she comes in contact with. She’s contagious. See, diamonds are rare and the strongest mineral known to man. Everyone wants a diamond but not everyone is fortunate to have one. We have one. I’m not a scientist but what I can understand from Wikipedia; is that diamonds are put through fire. There are many ways to produce a diamond but fire is a resounding component.
You have to go through fire to gain your strength. It’s actually in the fire you find your strength, you have to. You have no option but to press on and be pressed.
This whole thing, Sawyer’s entire life has been a wildfire. It’s completely changed me to the core. From the moment I gave birth she needed strength, she needed me to be strong for her. When everyone said she was fine, she needed my strength to fight for her. When everyone that I loved thought I was insane, she still needed my strength. Regardless, of my insecurities; strength was the only thing I could muster to keep going. Finding strength in the fire is nearly impossible as you muddle through wondering if you’re doing the right thing. Don’t leave room for wondering and questioning, just take the very next step in front of you. Don’t be tempted to question the future or demand all the answers just blindly trust and boldly step. Anyone can do anything for one more minute. At least that’s what I tell myself and Sawyer she endures yet another test no three year old should have to go through. One more minute I tell her, second by second we count to the minute. I’m not saying it’s all ok because there’s nothing ok with being in the fire. The light is about the only thing that gets you through and keeps you looking up. Being in the fire is scary but worth every single burn.
Like diamonds, strength is rare. Not everyone has it and not everyone can walk out in it. Some, let the fire burn them to destruction; while others avoid it all together.
Whatever it is in your life, whatever your fire just keep going for one more second, until a minute. Rely on strength that God put in you to get through. Don’t ask God to get you through this, instead KNOW He’s already given you the strength to walk through the fire.