Fight

Have you ever fought so hard for something?

I have.

Sometimes praying is all we can do but most of the time I think it’s all we want to do. We pray in the name of Jesus but we don’t actually position ourselves to progress. People ask me: “how do you do it?”…I don’t. Christ in me does. I can’t do a thing right. I can only keep going, keep swimming. I can only get up one more day and trust the strength inside me to make one more exhausting phone call that may potentially lead to an answer; but probably not. I can only wait one more weekend for excruciating, life or death results. I can only watch my daughter go through one more procedure. I can only drive two hours one way to get the best doctors I can for my girl; hoping that’s enough. I can only fight my insurance company every single step of the way, one more time. I could’ve all this time, sat in the quiet and  prayed to a God that somehow, “it’ll all work out”, things don’t just work out.

What if Jesus just prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane but never did the next thing He knew needed to be done a few, sombering hours later? He fought it out in prayer and then He went to battle. Why do we think we’re exempt from battle? Folks, this life is hard. That relationship is messy. Marriage can be hell. Your job is, work. This diagnosis is devastating. That task is daunting. The everyday grind is mundane. I get it. It’s easier to let it be up to God than to fight through the barriers. It’s in the midst of battle that we realize our strength. It’s as we knock out our opponent, when we see God’s hand in and through it all. I can’t begin to tell you the nightmare of my last year but I can tell you I’m a better person because of it. I can fight harder and be sustained longer. I know my strength is in God but I put my hands to work with what’s in front of me. I fight for things to come into play I won’t wait to watch them unfold. I’ve learned; “taking the bull by its horns” has a whole new meaning. It means not just trusting people always and instead being persistent and calling doctors every single day, sometimes twice; to see if there’s been a cancellation because it’s her only shot. I’ll never just: “leave it to God” when there’s still more steps to be had. Walk out all the steps and then pray hard.

Fighting like hell is the only thing I know how to do anymore. My fighting strength comes from my Maker. He put it inside of me, He put it in you; let your faith rest in that.

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