A Letter to My Special Needs Daughter

Dear Sawyer,

There’s something so fierce about you. People stop in their tracks because of your captivating presence. Your glow and excitement for life lights up a room, little do you know something’s wrong with you. You’ve never given your disease a second thought. The other day at the playground you chased after those boys and played along with them; like they included you. They didn’t. You don’t need to feel included, though; you’re just happy to be chasing them and talking to them. You get the power and vitality of connection. You celebrate life. Like, every single day is a gift. Every bite of ice cream you eat, it’s like the most exquisite thing you’re pallete has ever tasted. You boss around people like it’s your job, you make me want to be a better leader with your persistence and resilience. You’re inclusive and everybody is forced to have fun around you because laughing is your favorite thing on earth. That and dancing. You’re impulsive and your little mind has no clue what to focus on when but you stop in your tracks when you come in contact with another little person because you see yourself in your peers. You see the friend in people. You obsess over the things you love because you’re passionate and you know what you want. Trust me darling, that’s a gift. You’re most likely the loudest one in a room, sometimes; because you have so much to say and you command to letting your voice be heard and your story be told. You’re brave as you cry big tears when you’re being poked and prodded at and you have no idea why, it’s just become the norm to you.

 

It’s not normal but you don’t let it define you. You do the hard things and continue on asking for all the stickers and goldfish. You take every minute as it comes and leave the past behind you. You always give people chances, so many chances.

This disease, this diagnosis has taught me everything. All the while, you already knew what it means to be special. You live carefree, courageously, and unashamed. I live with guilt, shame, and anger. I wish I knew how to live like I was special. I wish more people lived like you. I wish we all lived like we knew we were rare, we knew we were loved.

You live your life pursuing love, it radiates from you.

And that, my dear… is what makes you special.

One thought on “A Letter to My Special Needs Daughter

  1. Precious thoughts, for a precious little girl, Who truly is one of God’s special radiant lights…… LOVE YOU Sawyer 🌟🌟☄💖☄🌟🌟

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